Why you’re dying of AIDS?
A man is dying of cancer: His son asked him, “Dad, why do u keep telling people u’re dying of AIDS?” Answer: “So when I’m dead no one will dare touch ur mom”
Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS:
Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS: 1.Too many questions. 2.Difficult to understand. 3.More explanation is needed. 4.Result is always fail!
Your head is growing through your hair
Son: “Dad, are you getting taller?” Dad: “No, why do you ask?” Son: “Because your head is growing through your hair!”
An apple a day
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
What’s the baby’s name?
Raj: What is your baby brother name Raju: I dont know he can’t talk yet
Doctor’s prescription 4 a happy life…
Doctor’s prescription 4 a happy life… PYARcetamol: 3 times a day SMSprine: 1 doze daily MISSED CALLpol: after every hour Use them regularly & b Healthy 🙂
What’s the meaning of a school?
Teacher: What’s the meaning of a school? Ritesh: A school is a place where father pays and the child plays!
A sexy female elephant
A group of elephants were sitting on the street. A sexy female elephant passes by… What does the loafer elephant say? Wow… 3600-2400-3600
What is far?
Teacher: Ramu,what is far moon or Mumbai? Ramu: Mumbai, because we can see moon, but we cannot see Mumbai.
Same mistake twice
Another MOON ? ………..Possible Another SUN ? …………..Possible Another SKY ? …………….Possible Another Friend Like U ? ………Impossible ‘coz GOD can’t make the same MISTAKE twice
Which is more important to us?
Teacher : “Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?” Pupil : “The moon”. Teacher : “Why?” Pupil : “The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don’t need it”.
One person u love
When you get this SMS, send it to 1 person u love, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of and 1 u wish to kill. Now, keep guessing why I sent it to u.
Sign post outside our collage
Sign post outside our collage : “Drive Carefully! Dont kill the Students, Wait for the Lecturers!”.
Mumbai, capital of India?
Robin: Oh God! Please make Mumbai the capital of India Mother: But why son? Robin: Because thatâ?Ts what I wrote in my test paper
He made a mother and mother-in-law
God thought that since he couldn’t be everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn’t be everywhere he made a mother-in-law.
A message to god
Dear God, Thank u for making me healthy. Can u also make me sexy? If u can’t make me sexy, plz make all my friends fat and ugly.
How to keep our heart clean?
Neha: We should use soap to keep our body clean. What should we do to keep our heart clean? Mona: I donâ?Tt know. Probably we must eat the soap.
Somebody is going to get a spanking
A little boy wasn’t getting good marks in school. One day he tapped his teacher on the shoulder and said, “I don’t want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don’t get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking.”
I bought 3 movie tickets
Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: Why three? Husband: For U and ur parents.
Still people say this is men’s world
When a girl smiles she is considered cute, when a boy smiles he is flirting. when a girl licks her lips she is thirsty, When boy licks he is tharkey. When a girl falls down she is helped by so many people But if a boy falls everybody laughs. STILL…
Our car only starts with petrol
Rajiv: “What sort of a car has your dad got?” Amit: “I can’t remember the name. I think it starts with T.” Rajiv: “Really – Ours only starts with petrol.”
To make a best seller
Teacher : What should be in a book to make it a best seller? Tommy: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
Exams are like WIVES
Exams are like WIVES: 1.Too Many Questions. 2.Difficult To Understand. 3.Elaborate Explanation Is Needed. 4.Result Is Always Unexpected.
Always smile
Always smile ,you know why? B’coz…..Hanso! Jiyo! … Muskurao!…Kya Pata… Kal Daant ho na ho!… Keep smiling!
Check sugar level regularly
Saqib enters kitchen and opens the sugar box. Sees inside and closes it. Wife observes the whole episode. Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this? Saqib replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly.
A lady delivered twins
A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly, one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER…. wherever u go out network follows.
Dad to Son
Dad to Son : When I beat u how do u control your anger. son: I start cleaning toilet. Dad: how does that satisfy you? Son: I clean with ur tooth brush.
Higher Studies Man !!!
Girl sitting on the top of the mountain and studying. When a Person asked what she was doing. She replied : Higher Studies Man !!!
Can u send me ur photo
Could u fax me ur photo very very urgently ? Mind u – it’s really very very urgent, damn serious and very imp … I’m playing cards and we’ve misplaced the JOKER.
Category: Funny SMS
Funny SMS messages collection in English (New/Free/Short/Best)