Bye bye, do bacchon ke baap
A sardarji, very proud of his humour used to say to his wife leaving for the office : ‘Good bye char bacchon ki maa’ One day his wife fed up of this answered : ‘Bye bye, do bacchon ke baap’
Before and after marriage
Before the marriage: Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it. Girl: Do you love me ? Boy: Of course! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: NO! Why you even asking? Girl:…
I’m very kanjoos
Pandit 1: I’m very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone & saved 1/2 money. Pandit 2: You r nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sent my wife with him.
Pay the bill
I want u… To be with me in a nice restaurent To have candle light dinner…. & To say say those sweet three words to u…. “Pay the bill”
Hello, I am a virus
Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now….. sorry I have to leave, I can’t find a brain. Scientists all over the world are wondering how long a human being can live without a brain… Kindly tell them ur age…
System of love
System of love: Jan – Rose Feb – Propose Mar – Gift April – Lift May – Chating June – Dating July – Kiss Aug – Miss Sep – Drop Oct – Escape Nov – Rest Dec – Next
Beta har parai stri ko apni Maa samjho
Papa : Beta har parai stri ko apni Maa samjho to tumhara character thik ho jaaega. Beta : Lekin papa fir aap ke character ka kya hoga???
Whats the difference between Data and Information?
Whats the difference between Data and Information? 362436 – Data 36-24-36 Information!
I kiss my wife everyday.
Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u? Banta: Me too, after u leave
Millionaire and Billionaire
Interviewer to Millionaire : To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?” Millionaire : “I owe everything to my wife.” Interviewer : “Wow, she must be some woman. Interviewer : “What were you before you married her?” Millionaire : “A Billionaire”
Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta asked Santa: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening? Santa: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.
A girl on the cover
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
I will die
Wife- I will die. Husband- I will also die. Wife- Why do you want to die? husband- b’coz mein itni khushi bardasht nahi kar sakta!
Correct the sentence
Teacher : Correct the sentence, “A bull and a cow is grazing in the field” Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field Teacher : How? Student : Ladies first.
Would you have married me?
A newly married man asked his wife, “Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?” “Honey,” the woman replied Sweetly, “I’d have married you no matter who left you a fortune”
Make me feel like a wife
A girl remove her jeans and threw it at her boyfriend And said, “Make me feel like a wife” Boy removed his jeans too, threw it at his Girl friend and said “wash both of these”.
Hi, what’s up…
Hi, what’s up… listen can I get a picture of yours? The thing is that I have started a new hobby of collecting photographs of natural disasters!
A math teacher and a student
A maths teacher said to his student” If u don’t get good marks, then i’ll first differentiate you and then integrate you.” Student replied- ” kar le jo karna hai hum to e to the power x hain”.
Why you’re dying of AIDS?
A man is dying of cancer: His son asked him, “Dad, why do u keep telling people u’re dying of AIDS?” Answer: “So when I’m dead no one will dare touch ur mom”
Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS:
Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS: 1.Too many questions. 2.Difficult to understand. 3.More explanation is needed. 4.Result is always fail!
Your head is growing through your hair
Son: “Dad, are you getting taller?” Dad: “No, why do you ask?” Son: “Because your head is growing through your hair!”
An apple a day
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
What’s the baby’s name?
Raj: What is your baby brother name Raju: I dont know he can’t talk yet
Doctor’s prescription 4 a happy life…
Doctor’s prescription 4 a happy life… PYARcetamol: 3 times a day SMSprine: 1 doze daily MISSED CALLpol: after every hour Use them regularly & b Healthy 🙂
What’s the meaning of a school?
Teacher: What’s the meaning of a school? Ritesh: A school is a place where father pays and the child plays!
A sexy female elephant
A group of elephants were sitting on the street. A sexy female elephant passes by… What does the loafer elephant say? Wow… 3600-2400-3600
What is far?
Teacher: Ramu,what is far moon or Mumbai? Ramu: Mumbai, because we can see moon, but we cannot see Mumbai.
Same mistake twice
Another MOON ? ………..Possible Another SUN ? …………..Possible Another SKY ? …………….Possible Another Friend Like U ? ………Impossible ‘coz GOD can’t make the same MISTAKE twice
Which is more important to us?
Teacher : “Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?” Pupil : “The moon”. Teacher : “Why?” Pupil : “The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don’t need it”.
Category: Funny SMS
Funny SMS messages collection in English (New/Free/Short/Best)