Sardarji & Librarian
Sardarji goes to the library and slams the book on the table and complains, “Too many characters no story” Librarian, “So u are the idiot who took the telephone directory”
Kahi dekha hai
A fool looks in miror & thinks: Isko kahi dekha hai! After a while he remembers: Yeh toh wahi kamina hai jo meri shadi ki album mein meri biwi ke saath khada hai!
Kursi nahi hai
Husband apni biwi ke office gaya toh usne dekha ke uski biwi boss ki godi mein baithi dictation le rahi thi. Husband: Chalo aajao, aisi jagah kaam nahi karna jahan staff k liye kursi bhi na ho.
He was dead
Lawyer: “And what did he do then?” Witness: “He came home, and next morning he was dead.” Lawyer: “So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?”
Girl makes him stupid in 2 mins
Mother makes her son Intelligent in 20 yrs, but a Girl makes him Stupid in 2 mins.
Sab do din ke masti hai
Apne husn par itna guroor na kar Sab do din ke masti hai Tera husn bhi tab tak hay kayam Jab tak fair & lovely sasti hay
Yeh kya hai
Father Asked Him: Yeh kya hai? Santa Replies: Teacher ke paas stars khatam ho gaye thay iss liye unhone mujhe aande de diye.
Milk and orange juice
John: What food u feed ur new born baby? Beautiful Young Mom: Breast milk & orange juice. John: Oh my… Which side is orange juice?
Death
Lawyer: “Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?” Witness: “By death.” Lawyer: “And by whose death was it terminated?”
What upset you?
Lawyer: “What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?” Witness: “He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’” Lawyer: “And why did that upset you?” Witness: “My name is Susan.”
Ulte latka do
Inspector to Santa: Phaansi se pehle, bata teri aakhri ichha kya hai? Santa: Mere pair upar aur shir neeche kar ke faansi de do!
It takes a lot of guts
Each of us has his own fear but Sooner or later we must face it. It takes a lot of guts to overcome it. So don’t be afraid to face your fear. Go ahead, take a bath.
Trains schedule
Said to a railroad engineer: What’s the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. The reply from the railroad engineer: How would we know they were late, if we didn’t have a schedule?
Serve without dressing
Preeto comes nude in front of the guests while serving the halwa. Banta shouts: Whatâ?Ts this? Preeto: Recipe book me likha tha “Serve hot without dressing.”
Roses are red
Before Marriage: Roses Are Red, Sky Is Blue, Oh My Darling I Love You. After Marriage: Roses Are Dead, I have Flu, You Are My Headache I Will Kill You…
Who is lecturer
Teacher to student: Can you define who is lecturer? Student : A lecturer is a person who has a very bad habit of speaking when someone is sleeping.
Report card
Santa went to school for getting the report card of his son. Santa: Madam report kab dengi aap. Teacher: Period khatam hone tak to intezzar karo.
Brain is a master piece
Unlike others your brain is a master piece, It is divided in 2 parts – Left & Right. In left nothing is Right & in right nothing is Left!
1981 & 2005 – Two Interesting Years:
1981 & 2005 – Two Interesting Years: Interesting Year 1981 1. Prince Charles got married. 2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe . 3. Australia lost the Ashes. 4. The Pope died. Interesting Year 2005 1. Prince Charles got married. 2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe . 3. Australia…
Women Logic :
Women Logic : . . > If He Is Not Online, He Must Be With That Bitch..!! . . . . > If He Is Online, He Must Be Chatting With That Bitch..!!
Dear girls
Dear girls . . . . . . putting “Princess”, “Angel”, “Sweet” in your facebook profile name dosent realy make you one. 😛
A cow was kept for viva.
A cow was kept for viva. School student: Its a cow. College student: Perhaps this is a cow. University Student: This may be cow or a hypopigmented buffalo. PHD Student: This may be a hypertrophied goat or an atrophied elephant with congenital anomalies. Moral: The more you study, the more…
EGO PROBLEMS YOU KNOW …. :p
What is similarity between Bill Gates and me? Don’t know?? He never comes to my house and I never go to his house EGO PROBLEMS YOU KNOW …. :p
Formulas must be on finger tips
Examiner : why you wrote the formula in your hand. Student : Because my master told me that: “Formulas must be on finger tips. 😛
One spelling mistake can destroy your life!
One spelling mistake can destroy your life! A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forgot to add ‘e’ at the end of a word… … “I am having such a wonderful time! Wish you were her__!…”:D:
If animal have Fb..
If animal have Fb.. these are most likely to b their status Cockroach: Managed to skip from some1,s foot step .. man, i lead a dangerous life style =p Cat: My 7th child is asking who is her father ..what should i tell her ?? i don,t even remember..:D Chicken…
Unknown call..
Unknown call.. He: do u have a bf? She: yes, who are u? He: I’m your brother ! Just wait till i come home!!/:):D=D Another unknown call He : do u have a bf ? She : no no I don’t He : what ? :O I’m ur bf ,…
Life main ek baat hameshan yaad rakhna
Life main ek baat hameshan yaad rakhna .. .. .. .. k .. .. .. .. .. cream biscuit main cream hoti hai lekin .. .. .. .. .. .. tiger biscuit main tiger nahi hota..
kia yehi piar hay
Humne Un Ko Miss Call De Kr Apni Yaad Dilai “FARAZ” Unho Ne Msg Kr K Kaha . . . Keera Hai Kya? ( ‘.’)/’ Dekh Yar.! ) ( Kya Ye Hi L L Pyar hai…?
my feelings for you have never changed
From Monday to Sunday, From January To December, From birth till my death, my feelings for you have never changed. For me, you’ve always been……….. a headache !
Category: Funny SMS
Funny SMS messages collection in English (New/Free/Short/Best)