Chand mat kahiye
Laloo – Rabri tum meri CHAND ho Rabri – Na ji hamko CHAND-VAND mat kahiye, Yeh sasura America wale roz chand par chadhte hai.
Yeh student ki pehchan ha
Yeh student ki pehchan hai Haath mein cigratte mu mein pan hai Mashoor yeh shaitan hai Yeh student ki pehchan hai Parhna isey aata nahi Class kabhi jata nahi Canteen iss ki jaan hai Yeh student ki pehchan hai Jalson mein sab se aage hain Naron mein sab se aagey…
Drink beer with chicken fry…
Next generation child will sing: Twinkle twinkle little star, I just went to royal bar, Whisky rates are up so high, So drink beer with chicken fry.
Kuch nahi hua tha
Year 1963 – – – Aug 3rd – – – Evening, 07:48 – – – Uss waqt kuch nahi hua tha. Chalo apna kaam karo! Sara din sms padte rahte ho!!
Dost tu bhi sms likha kar
Dost tu bhi sms likha kar tera bhi naam ho jayega. Jab tujh par pheken ge log ande aur tamatar toh sham ki sabzi ka intezam ho jayega!
Namo-namo patni maharani
Namo-namo patni maharani, tumhri mahima koi na jani. Hamne samjha tum abala ho, par tum toh sabse badi bala ho. Jis din haath mein belan aawe, uss din patni khoob chillave. Sare bed pe patni sove, pati baith farsh par rove. Tumse hi ghar mathura kashi, aur tumshe ghar satyanashi.…
Help me father…
Troubled youth: Father I have committed many sins recently. I am addicted to read dirty sms on my mobile phone! Please help me. Father: Don’t worry my son! Forward ur all sins to my mobile and relax!
Meaning of WIFE
Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means: Without Information Fighting Every time! Wife says: No, It means With Idiot forever.
Differences between difference
Q: What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A: About 25 to 30 pounds. Q: What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: About 25 to 30 minutes.
There was a cold day
How would an angrez tell an indian naukar who can’t understand english to open the door? He will certainly say: “There was a cold day”
Funny questions and answers
Q: When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake? A: On their Wedding ! Q: Why dogs don’t marry? A: Bcoz they are already leading a dog’s life! Q: Why doesn’t the India law permit a man to marry a second woman? A: Because as per law you cannot be…
Life paradox
Life paradox: What u want u don’t get (luv) What u get, u don’t enjoy (marriage) What u enjoy, is not permanent (girlfriend) What is permanent, is boring (wife)
Cabaret dance
A boy goes to see a cabaret dance. His mom goes angry and asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see? Boy: yes, I saw dad!
Example of an coincidence
A teacher asked his class to give eg of coincidence. There was silence for a few seconds. Then a small boy said “My father and mother were married on the same day.”
Good for health
GIRLFRIEND is like “PANIPURI” always tasty, LOVER is like PIZZA hot n spicy, WIFE is like VARAN BHAAT no other option but good for Health.
Missing baby
What did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing? – – – – – – – – – – – Ans: Aaila! Kisne mera pocket maar liya?
Swimming ke liye chanda
Bania’s Son: Papaji bahar Swimming pool ke liye chanda mang rahe hai.. Kanjoos Bania: Koi baat nahi Beta, Ek lota pani de de.
Searching hidden cameras
Jasmeet kaur watched her husband santa singh searching high and low, all over the living room. She asked him: What are you so frantically searching? Santa: “Hidden cameras” Jasmeet: And what makes you think there are hidden cameras here? Santa: Or else, every few minutes, how is that guy on…
Kaam poora kiya karo
Mental hospital ka doctor apni wife ko kehta hai: Pagalon ke saath reh reh kar mein aadha pagal toh ho hi gaya hoon. Wife: Kabhi koi kaam poora bhi kar liya karo.
Vitamns for grandson
Beppo singh needs vitamins for grandson. Beppo Singh: I’d like some vitamins for my grandson. Clerk: Sir which one, vitamin A, B or C? Beppo Singh: Any will do, my grandson doesn’t know the alphabet yet!
Gadhey ki zaroorat
Santa Kumar ko apna apna gadha bechna tha. Usne apne sare friends ko sms kiya: Agar tumhe kabi kisi gadhey ki zaroorat ho to mujhe yaad kar lena!
Human brian
Human brain is most out standing thing. It functions 24hrs & 365days. It functions right from the time we born, And it stops only when we enter inside the exam hall.
No other man like me
Husband: “When I’m gone you’ll never find another man like me.” Wife replied: “What makes you think I’d want another man like you!”
Different position
Husband: Shall we try a different position tonight? Wife: That’s a good idea… You stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and start watching TV.
Jitne channel TV ke
Jitne channel TV ke, Utne nakhre biwi ke. TV chalta remote se, Biwi chalti hai note se.
Honestly…for nothing
First prisoner : What were you convicted for? Second prisoner : Nothing. First prisoner : Honestly…for nothing. I stole a wallet, but there was nothing in it?
Cheque of kisses
On Jeeto’s bday Santa had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses. When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank manager.
Train kya cheez hai
Santa train ki patri par so gaya… Banta: Train aayegi toh mar jayega! Santa: Plane upar se gaya kuch nahi hua to train kya cheez hai.
Heart attack
Teacher: Johny, If Your Father Earned $100,000,000 And Gave Half Of It To Your Mother, What Would She Have? Little Johny: A Heart attack
Ladkiyo ki ada hame pasand nahi
Ladkiyo ki ada hame pasand nahi, Ladkiyo se bate hame pasand nahi, Yeh to aane vale bancho ki jid he mumy chahiye, Varna shadi karna hame pasand nahi!!
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