A law permit
Q: Why doesn’t law permit a man to marry a second woman? A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offense!
Bachelor’s schedule…
Monday ko dosti, Tuesday ko pyar, Wednesday ko shaadi, Thursday ko barbadi, Friday ko fighting, Saturday ko talaq, Sunday ko rest, Monday ko phir se talash.
Don’t take any chances
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don’t take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
Aare o sambha!
Gabbar: Aare o sambha! yeh sms padhnewala insaan hai ki bandar? Samba: Sarkar agar reply kare toh insaan nahi toh bandar.
Way of Transferring
– There is a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. – It’s called marriage.
Today is our anniversary
– Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? – Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
Grilfriend made me a begger
Beggar: Sir plz give me rs. 6 For coffee. Man: Coffee? Its rs. 3 only. Beggar: 1 for my girlfriend! Man: Wow! you too made a girlfriend? Beggar: No sir, girlfriend made me a begger.
In the exam hall
Examiner : Why you wrote the formula in your hand. Student : Because my teacher told, “Formulas must be in finger tips”.
Where do you want to go on our anniversary?
I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go on our anniversary?” She said, “Somewhere I have never been!” I told her, “How about the kitchen?”
Where do you want to go on our anniversary?
I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go on our anniversary?” She said, “Somewhere I have never been!” I told her, “How about the kitchen?”
All about marriage
Ek American nai ek Swami se bola, Hamare yaha shaadi e-mail se bhi hoti hai. Is par Swami bola kamal hai, Hamare yaha to sirf female se hoti hai.
Weight kitna hai
Dr: Apka weight kitna hai? Patient: Chashme ke sath 75 kgs. Dr: Aur bina chashme ke? Patient: Woh bina chasme ke toh mujhe dikhta hi nahi.
Chand mat kahiye
Laloo – Rabri tum meri CHAND ho Rabri – Na ji hamko CHAND-VAND mat kahiye, Yeh sasura America wale roz chand par chadhte hai.
Yeh student ki pehchan ha
Yeh student ki pehchan hai Haath mein cigratte mu mein pan hai Mashoor yeh shaitan hai Yeh student ki pehchan hai Parhna isey aata nahi Class kabhi jata nahi Canteen iss ki jaan hai Yeh student ki pehchan hai Jalson mein sab se aage hain Naron mein sab se aagey…
Drink beer with chicken fry…
Next generation child will sing: Twinkle twinkle little star, I just went to royal bar, Whisky rates are up so high, So drink beer with chicken fry.
Kuch nahi hua tha
Year 1963 – – – Aug 3rd – – – Evening, 07:48 – – – Uss waqt kuch nahi hua tha. Chalo apna kaam karo! Sara din sms padte rahte ho!!
Dost tu bhi sms likha kar
Dost tu bhi sms likha kar tera bhi naam ho jayega. Jab tujh par pheken ge log ande aur tamatar toh sham ki sabzi ka intezam ho jayega!
Namo-namo patni maharani
Namo-namo patni maharani, tumhri mahima koi na jani. Hamne samjha tum abala ho, par tum toh sabse badi bala ho. Jis din haath mein belan aawe, uss din patni khoob chillave. Sare bed pe patni sove, pati baith farsh par rove. Tumse hi ghar mathura kashi, aur tumshe ghar satyanashi.…
Help me father…
Troubled youth: Father I have committed many sins recently. I am addicted to read dirty sms on my mobile phone! Please help me. Father: Don’t worry my son! Forward ur all sins to my mobile and relax!
Meaning of WIFE
Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means: Without Information Fighting Every time! Wife says: No, It means With Idiot forever.
Differences between difference
Q: What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A: About 25 to 30 pounds. Q: What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: About 25 to 30 minutes.
There was a cold day
How would an angrez tell an indian naukar who can’t understand english to open the door? He will certainly say: “There was a cold day”
Funny questions and answers
Q: When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake? A: On their Wedding ! Q: Why dogs don’t marry? A: Bcoz they are already leading a dog’s life! Q: Why doesn’t the India law permit a man to marry a second woman? A: Because as per law you cannot be…
Life paradox
Life paradox: What u want u don’t get (luv) What u get, u don’t enjoy (marriage) What u enjoy, is not permanent (girlfriend) What is permanent, is boring (wife)
Cabaret dance
A boy goes to see a cabaret dance. His mom goes angry and asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see? Boy: yes, I saw dad!
Example of an coincidence
A teacher asked his class to give eg of coincidence. There was silence for a few seconds. Then a small boy said “My father and mother were married on the same day.”
Good for health
GIRLFRIEND is like “PANIPURI” always tasty, LOVER is like PIZZA hot n spicy, WIFE is like VARAN BHAAT no other option but good for Health.
Missing baby
What did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing? – – – – – – – – – – – Ans: Aaila! Kisne mera pocket maar liya?
Swimming ke liye chanda
Bania’s Son: Papaji bahar Swimming pool ke liye chanda mang rahe hai.. Kanjoos Bania: Koi baat nahi Beta, Ek lota pani de de.
Searching hidden cameras
Jasmeet kaur watched her husband santa singh searching high and low, all over the living room. She asked him: What are you so frantically searching? Santa: “Hidden cameras” Jasmeet: And what makes you think there are hidden cameras here? Santa: Or else, every few minutes, how is that guy on…
Category: Funny SMS
Funny SMS messages collection in English (New/Free/Short/Best)