Kaam poora kiya karo
Mental hospital ka doctor apni wife ko kehta hai: Pagalon ke saath reh reh kar mein aadha pagal toh ho hi gaya hoon. Wife: Kabhi koi kaam poora bhi kar liya karo.
Vitamns for grandson
Beppo singh needs vitamins for grandson. Beppo Singh: I’d like some vitamins for my grandson. Clerk: Sir which one, vitamin A, B or C? Beppo Singh: Any will do, my grandson doesn’t know the alphabet yet!
Gadhey ki zaroorat
Santa Kumar ko apna apna gadha bechna tha. Usne apne sare friends ko sms kiya: Agar tumhe kabi kisi gadhey ki zaroorat ho to mujhe yaad kar lena!
Human brian
Human brain is most out standing thing. It functions 24hrs & 365days. It functions right from the time we born, And it stops only when we enter inside the exam hall.
No other man like me
Husband: “When I’m gone you’ll never find another man like me.” Wife replied: “What makes you think I’d want another man like you!”
Different position
Husband: Shall we try a different position tonight? Wife: That’s a good idea… You stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and start watching TV.
Jitne channel TV ke
Jitne channel TV ke, Utne nakhre biwi ke. TV chalta remote se, Biwi chalti hai note se.
Honestly…for nothing
First prisoner : What were you convicted for? Second prisoner : Nothing. First prisoner : Honestly…for nothing. I stole a wallet, but there was nothing in it?
Cheque of kisses
On Jeeto’s bday Santa had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses. When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank manager.
Train kya cheez hai
Santa train ki patri par so gaya… Banta: Train aayegi toh mar jayega! Santa: Plane upar se gaya kuch nahi hua to train kya cheez hai.
Heart attack
Teacher: Johny, If Your Father Earned $100,000,000 And Gave Half Of It To Your Mother, What Would She Have? Little Johny: A Heart attack
Ladkiyo ki ada hame pasand nahi
Ladkiyo ki ada hame pasand nahi, Ladkiyo se bate hame pasand nahi, Yeh to aane vale bancho ki jid he mumy chahiye, Varna shadi karna hame pasand nahi!!
Real But funny
School: A place where papa pays & son plays. Life insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all ur Life so that you can die rich. Nurse: A person wakes up to give you sleeping pills. Marriage: A contract in which a boy loses his bachelors degree & girl gets…
Kitne aadami thay
Gabbar Singh: Are O Kaaliya Kitne aadami thay re? Kaaliya: Kya Pata Sardar? main toh aurtein gin raha tha…
English translation
Teacher: Give english translation of, “Bazar mein goliyan chal rahi hai”. Santa replies: The tablets are walking in the market.
Ullu toh raat ko bolta hai
Munna bhai : Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aaya? Girl : Ullu toh raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?
Sadak ke eis par aur wus par…
Woh sadak ke is paar thi, hum sadak kee us par the Kuch hum aage badhe, kuch woh aage badhi Hum kuch aur aage badhe, woh bhi kuch aur aage badhi Ab hum sadak ke wus par the, aur woh sadak ke is par thi.
Khandala mera gaon hai
Ped ke niche chav hai Khandala mera gaon hai Wade main jasie pav ha Nadi main terti naav hai Anarkali naam ki apun ki ek dav hai
Do you know the full form of WIFE?
The real meaning of WIFE: W = Wonderful I = Item F = For E = Entertainment
The real meaning of GIRL…
The full form of GIRL: G = Ghost I = In R = Real L = Life
Mother vs mother-in-law
Once GOD thought he will not look after everyone so he creates “Mother”. When devil saw that God creates “Mother” he became crazy and creates Mother-In-Law!!
Tumhari bhabhai khadi hai
Hindi teacher santa se: Woh ek sundar ladki khadi hai, Isko doosre shabdo mein bayan karo. Santa: Woh dekho yaaro tumhari bhabhi khadi hai…
You are a flower
I am a dog and u r a flower, I am a dog and u r a flower, So let me lift my leg and give you a shower!
Height of Jhatka…
A Boy after having gr8 time with GF He saw a Guy’s Photo in Her Bag & asked Is He your Ex-BF? GF Kissd Him & said No it’s Me befiew surgery
Aplication by santa
Aplication by santa: Dear sir, Sasriyakal, my wife is ill as there is no other husband in the family To look after her. So please kindly grant me leave for 1 day. Thank you.
Biwi ka antim sanskar
Ek aadmi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha. Achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se barish start ho gayi. Dukhi aadmi: Lagta hai pahunch gayi.
Perfect wife
There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it.
Airlines slogan
Airlines slogan: A warm experience & motherly treatment… Warm b’coz AC doesn’t work & Motherly because Air hostesses are above 50
Susu kar ke soja…
Do you want Nokia N90 at Rs. 199/- only with FREE SIM card & 1000 SMS and 750 T.T. Free? – – – – – Then – – – – – You have to.. – – – – – Just log on to www.SusuKarKeSoja@SapnoMeMilega.com
Mango man
Teacher To Santa: Translate this sentence in english, “mein aam aadmi nahi hoon”. Santa: I am not a mango man.
Category: Funny SMS
Funny SMS messages collection in English (New/Free/Short/Best)