A message to god
Dear God, Thank u for making me healthy. Can u also make me sexy? If u can’t make me sexy, plz make all my friends fat and ugly.
How to keep our heart clean?
Neha: We should use soap to keep our body clean. What should we do to keep our heart clean? Mona: I donâ?Tt know. Probably we must eat the soap.
Somebody is going to get a spanking
A little boy wasn’t getting good marks in school. One day he tapped his teacher on the shoulder and said, “I don’t want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don’t get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking.”
I bought 3 movie tickets
Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: Why three? Husband: For U and ur parents.
Still people say this is men’s world
When a girl smiles she is considered cute, when a boy smiles he is flirting. when a girl licks her lips she is thirsty, When boy licks he is tharkey. When a girl falls down she is helped by so many people But if a boy falls everybody laughs. STILL…
Our car only starts with petrol
Rajiv: “What sort of a car has your dad got?” Amit: “I can’t remember the name. I think it starts with T.” Rajiv: “Really – Ours only starts with petrol.”
To make a best seller
Teacher : What should be in a book to make it a best seller? Tommy: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
Exams are like WIVES
Exams are like WIVES: 1.Too Many Questions. 2.Difficult To Understand. 3.Elaborate Explanation Is Needed. 4.Result Is Always Unexpected.
Always smile
Always smile ,you know why? B’coz…..Hanso! Jiyo! … Muskurao!…Kya Pata… Kal Daant ho na ho!… Keep smiling!
Check sugar level regularly
Saqib enters kitchen and opens the sugar box. Sees inside and closes it. Wife observes the whole episode. Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this? Saqib replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly.
A lady delivered twins
A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly, one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER…. wherever u go out network follows.
Dad to Son
Dad to Son : When I beat u how do u control your anger. son: I start cleaning toilet. Dad: how does that satisfy you? Son: I clean with ur tooth brush.
Higher Studies Man !!!
Girl sitting on the top of the mountain and studying. When a Person asked what she was doing. She replied : Higher Studies Man !!!
Can u send me ur photo
Could u fax me ur photo very very urgently ? Mind u – it’s really very very urgent, damn serious and very imp … I’m playing cards and we’ve misplaced the JOKER.
Johny Johny rhyme in Hyderabadi style
Jaani Jaani Ji Abba, Shakkar khare potte…nai bawa, Jhoot bolra re, Muh khol re haramzadi…ha haa haaa
Chinese died
Chinese was in the hospital, Santa went to meet him. Chinese said: “CHING CHONG CHU CHU” & died. Santa went to China to know the meaning, it was – IDIOT, REMOVE UR FOOT FROM MY OXYGN PIPE.
Raja n Rani get tired of mobiles…
Raja n Rani get tired of mobiles… They decided 2 use pigeons, One day pigeon reached without letter, Angry Raja asked Rani what’s this? Rani replied idiot it was a miss call.
Rain makes beautiful
The rain makes all things beautiful … The grass & flowers 2 … If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?
God’s apology
Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf of the whole world.
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
– Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? – It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
Why should I learn?
The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, so why should I be learning??
Mil giya Oye mil gaya
Mil giya Oye mil gaya, Oye oye mil giya, Oho mil giya, Ballay Ballay… Mil he giya, Aaj to mil he giya, Yeh sms phadne wala ek aur bewqoof mil gaya!!!
SINCERE PRAY TO GOD!!!
SINCERE PRAY TO GOD!!! OO! GOD I DO NOT ASKTHING FOR ME I want something 4 my mother JUST SEND MY MOTHER A RICH HANDSOM N GOOD LOOKING SON_IN_LAW! 🙂
Tute huye dil se pyaar
Boy : Janeman! Tute huye dil se pyaar karogi ya dil tutne tak pyaar karogi. Girl : Haramkhor! Tuti huye chappal se pitega ya chappal tutne tak pitega.
Please contact zoo
What is wrong with your cell every time i call, a voice comes that the subscriber u have dialed is a monkey, plz contact zoo for detail.
Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
Do you want to hear a dirty joke? Ok A white horse fell in the mud
Keeping idiot busy
This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,20 cat, seconds cat !… Now read it without the word cat.
karan johar ka kamal
karan johar ka kamal : Kuch kuch hota hai : Luv ur friends K3g : Luv ur parents Kal ho na ho : Luv ur neighbours Kabhi alvida na kehna : Luv other’s wife.
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