Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta asked Santa: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening? Santa: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.
A girl on the cover
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
I will die
Wife- I will die. Husband- I will also die. Wife- Why do you want to die? husband- b’coz mein itni khushi bardasht nahi kar sakta!
Correct the sentence
Teacher : Correct the sentence, “A bull and a cow is grazing in the field” Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field Teacher : How? Student : Ladies first.
Would you have married me?
A newly married man asked his wife, “Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?” “Honey,” the woman replied Sweetly, “I’d have married you no matter who left you a fortune”
Make me feel like a wife
A girl remove her jeans and threw it at her boyfriend And said, “Make me feel like a wife” Boy removed his jeans too, threw it at his Girl friend and said “wash both of these”.
Hi, what’s up…
Hi, what’s up… listen can I get a picture of yours? The thing is that I have started a new hobby of collecting photographs of natural disasters!
A math teacher and a student
A maths teacher said to his student” If u don’t get good marks, then i’ll first differentiate you and then integrate you.” Student replied- ” kar le jo karna hai hum to e to the power x hain”.
Why you’re dying of AIDS?
A man is dying of cancer: His son asked him, “Dad, why do u keep telling people u’re dying of AIDS?” Answer: “So when I’m dead no one will dare touch ur mom”
Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS:
Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS: 1.Too many questions. 2.Difficult to understand. 3.More explanation is needed. 4.Result is always fail!
Your head is growing through your hair
Son: “Dad, are you getting taller?” Dad: “No, why do you ask?” Son: “Because your head is growing through your hair!”
An apple a day
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
What’s the baby’s name?
Raj: What is your baby brother name Raju: I dont know he can’t talk yet
Doctor’s prescription 4 a happy life…
Doctor’s prescription 4 a happy life… PYARcetamol: 3 times a day SMSprine: 1 doze daily MISSED CALLpol: after every hour Use them regularly & b Healthy 🙂
What’s the meaning of a school?
Teacher: What’s the meaning of a school? Ritesh: A school is a place where father pays and the child plays!
A sexy female elephant
A group of elephants were sitting on the street. A sexy female elephant passes by… What does the loafer elephant say? Wow… 3600-2400-3600
What is far?
Teacher: Ramu,what is far moon or Mumbai? Ramu: Mumbai, because we can see moon, but we cannot see Mumbai.
Same mistake twice
Another MOON ? ………..Possible Another SUN ? …………..Possible Another SKY ? …………….Possible Another Friend Like U ? ………Impossible ‘coz GOD can’t make the same MISTAKE twice
Which is more important to us?
Teacher : “Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?” Pupil : “The moon”. Teacher : “Why?” Pupil : “The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don’t need it”.
One person u love
When you get this SMS, send it to 1 person u love, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of and 1 u wish to kill. Now, keep guessing why I sent it to u.
Sign post outside our collage
Sign post outside our collage : “Drive Carefully! Dont kill the Students, Wait for the Lecturers!”.
Mumbai, capital of India?
Robin: Oh God! Please make Mumbai the capital of India Mother: But why son? Robin: Because thatâ?Ts what I wrote in my test paper
A message to god
Dear God, Thank u for making me healthy. Can u also make me sexy? If u can’t make me sexy, plz make all my friends fat and ugly.
He made a mother and mother-in-law
God thought that since he couldn’t be everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn’t be everywhere he made a mother-in-law.
How to keep our heart clean?
Neha: We should use soap to keep our body clean. What should we do to keep our heart clean? Mona: I donâ?Tt know. Probably we must eat the soap.
Somebody is going to get a spanking
A little boy wasn’t getting good marks in school. One day he tapped his teacher on the shoulder and said, “I don’t want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don’t get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking.”
I bought 3 movie tickets
Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: Why three? Husband: For U and ur parents.
Still people say this is men’s world
When a girl smiles she is considered cute, when a boy smiles he is flirting. when a girl licks her lips she is thirsty, When boy licks he is tharkey. When a girl falls down she is helped by so many people But if a boy falls everybody laughs. STILL…
Our car only starts with petrol
Rajiv: “What sort of a car has your dad got?” Amit: “I can’t remember the name. I think it starts with T.” Rajiv: “Really – Ours only starts with petrol.”
Category: Funny SMS
Funny SMS messages collection in English (New/Free/Short/Best)