Cut off mu dog’s tail
Doctor cut off my dog’s tail. Vet: Why do u want to do that? Coz my mom-in-law is visiting us & I don’t want anything 2 make her think she’s welcomed.
No entry
Santa drives in to one-way & cross no entry board! Policeman: Oye no entry ka board nahi dekha? Santa: Mujhe laga film ka poster hai..
Teacher and Tommy
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Tommy: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
All girls are beautiful
All girls are beautiful, after the lights are switched off. – Shakespeare. All boys are innocent before the lights are off. – Shakespeare’s wife…
The people of Germany
Teacher : What are the people of Turkey called? Student : I don’t know. Teacher : They are called Turks, now what are the people of Germany called? Student : They are called Germs.
If you are very sad
If ever in your life U R very sad & lonely & feel that U have lost every thing, I will come, Hold your hand, take U 4 Walk on a Bridge & Show U where 2 jump From
You are already a sweet heart…
One who smokes gets a smoky heart, One who drinks gets an alcoholic heart, So dear, u must stop eating sweets, Coz you are already a sweet heart
Your own stupid
Today, tommorow and yesterday there will be … one heart that would always beat for you … You know Whose??? … your Own Stupid!!!
I want devorce
Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn’t spoken to me in six months. Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!
Talking about oxygen
Life without u is impossible, u r in my breath and blood. i cant stay for a second without u, if u r not there i am dead oye hello i am talking about OXYGEN
Bond and a dog
Once james bond met a dog in jungle he said, “I am bond.!! JAMES BOND..!!” The dog bites him & replies, “I am kuttaa..!!!” “PAGAL KUTTA.!!”
People say Maths is boring..!!
Maths tells us three of the saddest love stories 🙁 : . . ¤Tangent lines who had one chance to meet and then parted forever. . . ¤Parallel lines who were never meant to meet. . . ¤And asymptotes who can get closer and closer but will never be together.…
Pappu: I Love A Girl..!!
Pappu: I Love A Girl..!! . Pinky: Oh, Who Is She.. ?? … . Pappu: She Looks A Bit Like You..!! . Pinky: Awwwwwww, Is It Me.. ?? ♥ . . . . Pappu: No, Its Your Sister..!! 😉 x) 😛 😀 >>> Had Ho Gayi !!!
Santa & Banta
Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. One day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa! Santa: Oye, this was a missed call.
Taste the thunder?
Zor ki baarish Makes me wonder Is this what they call, taste the thunder?
Find A Chick Whose Father Is Rich
A Young Man Asked A Rich Old Man: How He Made His Money ? The Old Guy Said: Son, It was 1932, The depth of the Great Depression I Was Down To My Last Nickel I Invested That In An Apple And Spent The Entire Day Polishing It; & At…
Husband and Wife galat fehmi
Wife : Kal raat tum neend main mujhe gaaliya de rahe the. Husband : Tumhe galat fehmi hui hai. Wife : Kaisi galat fehmi? Husband : Yehi k main soya hua tha.
Hum chaat par chade
Hum chaat par chade patang udane ke bahane, Wo bhi chaat par aayi kapde sukhane ke bahane, Uske mummy ne jo dekha ye hasi najara, Jhadu le aayi wo bandhar bhagane ke bahane.
Ek se mera kya hoga
Kiss is not like nokia… Connecting people Kiss is not like nike.. Just do it. Kiss is not like pepsi.. Yeh dil maange more But kiss is like pan parag.. Ek se mera kya hoga.
Kya haal hai
Santa and banta were walking on the road and a well shaped lady was walking in front of them: Santa: Kya maal hai yaar. Banta: Yaar, maal se yaad aya bhabhi ka kya haal hai?
What can you do for me
Girl : What can you do for me Boy : i would die for you Girl : I don’t like you Boy : Why? … Girl: I m looking for Someone who would live for me not Someone who would just die and leave me alone 🙁
A responsible man as a husband
Girl : I want a responsible man as a husband. Man replies : That’s me, whenever anyone is pregnant in my neighborhood, they say I’m responsible!
Ek SMS ki qeemat
Ek SMS ki qeemat tum kia jano kanjus babu? sab SMS k sir ka taj hota hay mera ek sms, sub k Mobile ki shan hota hay mera ek SMS, har kisi ki inbox ka khuwab hota hay mera ek SMS.
When I call you
When I call you: 1 ring means – I’m missing u, 2 ring means – I like u, 3 ring means – I’m thinking of u, 4 ring means – I need u, 5 ring means – Idiot phone utha.
Tum kya kisi bhoot se kam ho?
Aahat si koi aaye to, lagta hai ki tum ho Saaya sa koi mand raye to, lagta hai ki tum ho Ab batao tum kya kisi bhoot se kam ho?
He has two…
Always remember: When SHE cancels a date, it is because.. “SHE HAS TO” But When HE cancels a date, it is because.. “HE HAS TWO” 😉
i read ur sms
Whenever i want youe presence, I read ur sms Whenever I want to see you I close my eyes Whenever I want to hear your voice, I throw stone on dog!!’
Advantages of a housewife
Advantages of a House Wife: 1. No charges on washing, pressing of clothes, polishing of shoes per week 2. No TIP n Cooking n Serving charges per meal 3. House hold safety n No need for servants per month Conclusion: U CAN SAVE UPTO 17-18 THOUSAND EVERY MONTH IF U…
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Funny SMS messages collection in English (New/Free/Short/Best)
