I do not sleep at night
In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, At noon I do not eat because I think of you, In the evening I do not eat because I think of you, At night I do not sleep because I am hungry.
Aisi ki taisi kab hoti hai?
Q: Aisi ki taisi kab hoti hai? – – – – – – – – – – Ans: Jab loose motion lage hon aur pajame ki gaanth na khule.
There’s trouble with the car
Preeto : There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor. Banta : Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous. Preeto : I tell you the car has water in the carburetor. Banta : You don’t even know what a carburetor is. I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?…
IDIOMS RELOADED…
1. Money is not everything There are credit cards too. 2. Love animals They are tasty. 3. Save water Drink juices. 4. Study is healthy Leave it for sick. 5. Books are holy Dont touch them. 6. No noise in class You disturb those asleep. 7. Must get married Happiness…
Why do men chase women?
Why do men chase women when they have no intention of marrying? – For the same reason dogs chase cars when they have no intention of driving.
Love is an illusion!
Love is an illusion! Its a highly dependency disorder of weak hearted people. . . . People with strong hearts believe in FLIRTING :p
A man to Santa
A man to Santa : Ur friend is kissing ur wife in ur home. Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour n slapped the man and said : He’s not my friend.
I LOV THREE THINGS
I LOV THREE THINGS 1….PIZZA 2……PEPSI 3……….U . PIZZA TO EAT . PEPSI TO DRINK . AND U . OOOOOOOOOOHOOOOO HELLLLOOOOOOOO TO CLEAN THE TABLE
Choice for dinner
Wife: Do you want dinner? Husband: Sure, what are my choices? Wife: Yes and no.
A chinese question:
A chinese pair Mr and Miss Hua, got twins without getting married. What did they name them? Ans: Jo Hua, So Hua.
Kue me gir gaye
Kal papa kue me gir gaye, bahut chot lagi, bahut chilla rahe the. Ab kaise hai? Teek hi honge, raat se koi se koi awaz nahi ayi.
Everyone must attend it
Teacher : Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it. Raju : No ma’m! I will not be able to attend it. Teacher : Why? Raju : My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
Room mate Kumar
Sales man : Sir, which shaving cream do u use ? Customer : Kumar’s. S.M : Which after shave do y use ? C : Kumar’s. S.M : Which tooth paste do u use ? C : Kumar’s ? S.M : Which shampoo do u use ? C : Kumar’s.…
God bless your naughty mind
It’s the thing that satisfies ur mind, body & soul! Do it on bed, on a sofa, in the car or anywhere! It’s called Prayer! God bless ur naughty mind.
Difference between stress, tension and panic
What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.
Paanch rupya de de
Beggar: Oh sundari, andha hoon paanch rupya de de! Husband to his wife: De de, Dede tujhe sundari bola hai toh har haal mein yeh andha hai.
Baal curly hote hain
Batao woh kaun si jagha hai jahan mard aur aurat k baal curly hote hain. – – – socho! – – – Aur socho – – – Are DIRTY mind – – – wo jagha hai. – – – AFRICA
what are Nitrates?
In chemistry class teacher asked a gal: what are Nitrates Gal answered shyly: night rates, they are costlier than day.
cold drink Nuqsan Deti Hai Ya Faida?
Teacher: Batao cold drink Nuqsan Deti Hai Ya Faida? Student: Agr Koi Pila de To Faida, Agr Pilani Parr Jaye To Nuqsaan;-)
Types of calls
Wives r incoming calls, Lovers r outgoing calls, Aunties r Toll-free calls, Call girls r Roaming calls, Neighbour girls r Missed Calls.
How did you find me?
Sweet candies are nice to eat … Sweet words are easy to say … but, sweet ppl are hard to find … OH MY GOD! how did u find me?
Food for thought
Why to suffer trying by all means to become rich and wear expensive branded clothes, when most beautiful things in life we do naked.
You’ve always been a headache!
Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed. For me, you’ve always been a headache!
In order to get 100/100 in life
In order to get 100/100 in life, a man requires 100% talent, whereas a woman requires only 4% talent & the remaining is only 36-24-36
Chod deu timro padhai
Sagarmatha ko chuchuro ma maha-bharat ko ladai, Sagarmatha ko chuchuro ma maha-bharat ko ladai, Ma sanga prem garne bhaye chod deu timro padhai.
A monkey in plastic
Have u seen a monkey in plastic? —— —– — —- — NO???? Quickly, see your driving license.
Take a bite of u
The length & breadth & height of you, Total up to quite a view, But to taste the true delight of you, I’ll have to take a bite of u.
Agar pyaar aapse pyar kare
Tab tak pyaar se pyaar mat karo, Jab tak pyaar aap se pyaar na kare. Agar pyaar aapse pyaar kare, Toh pyaar karo ki pyaar kisi aur se pyaar na kare.
A cute Nurse came…
A cute Nurse came for the interview.. Dr: What salary YOU expect? Nurse: Rs.10,000. Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure. Nurse: With pleasure it’s 25,000
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