Plumber in the college
Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why? Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.
Can I go to the theatre
Can I go to the Theatre ? Asks a mosquito to her mother. Yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause.
Ek aadmi ki bibi kho gaye
Ek aadmi ki bibi kho gaye. Ram mandir mein jaakar prarthana ki. Ram bhagwan prakat huye aur bole: “Beta, baju mein hanumanji ke mandir hai,waha jake pukar.” Kyoki meri bibi kho gaye thi, to unhi ne dhunde the.
Nishana chook gaya
Banta: Jab main paida hua tha to military walon ne 21 topein chalayeen thi. Santa: Kamaal hai ! Sab ka nishana chook gaya?
Ghar pe raha karo
Santa: Qutub minar kaha hai? Pappu: Pata nahi. Santa: Kabhi ghar se nikla karo. Pappu: Shyam Lal kaun hai? Santa: Pata nahi. Pappu: Kabhi Ghar pe bhi raha karo.
Kisi ki na ho saki
Santa ne apni sagaai tod di kyunki ladki virgin thi. When asked why, Santa bola: Jo aaj tak kisi ki nahi hui woh meri kaise ho sakti hai.
Paseene nikal jaayen
Preeto: Darling, aaj kuch aisa karo ke mere paseene nikal jaayen! Banta gets up and switches off the AC & fan.
Pay ur Electricity bill
When your life is in darkness pray to God ask him to free u from darkness And after you pray if you are still in darkness, Please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL
Chand se aapka jikar karte hai
Hum raat ki tanhai mein, Aapki aawaz sunte hai, Chand se aapka jikar karte hai, Mat aao hamare khawabo mein, Hum bhoot-preeto se bahut darte hai.
Confidence and overconfidence
There’s a small gap between confidence and over-confidence. You can kiss your girlfriend is Confidence. Only you can kiss your girlfriend is Over-Confidence.
Kyun shaadi karta hai
Aadmi shaadi kyun karta hai? Takee woh marne ke baad agar Swarg jaye toh achcha feel kare aur agar Nark jaye to homely feel kare…
Daru is like wife
What is the difference between dava (medicine) & daru? Ans: dava is like girlfriend that comes with expiry date. Daru is like wife, jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi…
Win a free trip
I LOVE YOU Send this msg to 10 girls n win a free trip to Ur nearest police station in luxury jeep Rahena Khana and body masaaz free. U will surely like it.
Drive main karungi
Wife: Chalo na car me kahin ghumne chalte hai, aur car me drive karungi. Huband: Agar tum car drive karogi to jayenge car me, ayenge akhbaar me…
Mera paisa nikal
Thief with knife: Tera paisa nikal! Man: Do you know who I am? I am a corporator. Thief: Acchha? To phir MERA paisa nikal!
Rough copy before final copy
Why were males created before females? Coz you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
Who is the Ravan
Ravan had 20 eyes but he sighted only one woman… You have only 2 eyes but you sight every woman… Now who is Ravan?
Bhikari and kanjoos
Bikhari: 50 paise de de re baba maine 3 din se khana nahin khaya hai… Kanjoos: 50 paise nahi, 10 rupaye dunga, pahele ye bata 50 paise mein khana kahan milta hai.
Khilone chhupa do
Boy: Mom, aaj mera dost ghar aa raha hai… ghar ke sab khilone chhupa do Mom: Tera dost chor hai kya? Boy: Nahin, woh apne khilone pehchan lega.
Phool hun Gulaab ka
Phool hun Gulaab ka, Chameli ka mat samjhna, Aashiq hun aapka, Apni saheli ka mat samjhna.
Customer and Waiter
Customer: Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup. Waiter: That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much.
Kabhi gola kabhi bum
Osama to big B: How are you?? Big B: Bas kabhi khushi kabhi gham. And you? Osama: Bas kabhi gola kabhi bum.
tum barey ho k kia karo gey!
Teacher: tum barey ho k kia karo gay? Student: shadi T: maira matlab hay kya banogay? S: Dulha T:I mean bary ho k kia hasil karo gay? S: dulhan T: Idiot! maira matlab bary ho k ammi abbu k lye kia karo gay? S: bahu laon ga T: Stupid tumhary…
Usama asked Kajol,
Usama asked Kajol,”how’s ur life?” She replied,”kabhi khushi kabhi ghum.” Then Kajol asked Usama,”what about U?” He replied,”kabhi BUSH kabhi BOMB.”
Maine kaha dilruba
Maine kaha dilruba, Usne kaha paise dikha, Maine kaha paise nahi, Usne kaha aise nahi, Maine kaha mehengai hai, Usne kaha ja tu mera bhai hai.
Sardar chicken
A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chiken and waiter comes with the order. Sardar: Murgi di taang kithe hai? Waiter: Woh langra tha. Sardar: Dil? Waiter: Dil murgi le gayee. Sardar: Dimaag? Waiter: Murga sardar tha..
Horror movie dekha
Husband: Raat ko main ne aik horror movie dekha, aik churail kabhi mere agay kabhi peechy or kabhi saath chal rahi thi. Wife: Kaun si movie thi??? Husband: apni shaadi ki..
Exam ke saath cheat hai
Padai ke saath refreshment hai Exam ke saath cheat hai Aur har acchi ladki ke saath Yah to Uska bhai yah to koi boy friend hai.
A law permit
Q: Why doesn’t law permit a man to marry a second woman? A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offense!
Don’t take any chances
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don’t take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
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