Santa’s Slam book
SLAM BOOK filled by Santa. 1.Strength: My wife,Jeeto. 2.Weakness: Banta’ s wife,Preeto. 3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour. 4.Threat: When I m on tour.
There is an earthquake
Wife: There is an earthquake , house is trembling..& u r sleeping? Sardar: Why do u worry? U too better sleep. This is not our own house, after all rented house..
When Heart fails..
When WORDS fail, eyes speak. When eyes fail,”HEART” speaks. When HEART fails, nothing speaks they put cotton in the nose…
Khaane mein kya hai?
Pati-Patni mein ladai ho gayi. Pati ghar se chala gaya. Raat ko phone karta hai. Pati: Khaane mein kya hai?? Patni: Zehar!! Pati: Tum khaa lena main der se aaunga..
Sari phuljadiya yahi raheti hai
Child:Mom isbar hum saare patake is shop se lenge. Mom: lekin beta ye to girls hostel hai. Child: Papa to kehte hai ki sari phuljadiya yahi raheti hai.
Aap kaise soch sakte haiki
Ghantaghar tod dunga Ring road ko mod dunga Sahid gate fod dunga Titanic ko fevicolse jod dunga Aap kaise soch sakte haiki mai aap ko sms karna chod dunga
Jab hum jiya karenge, apko yaad kiya karenge
Jab hum jiya karenge, apko yaad kiya karenge. Agar hum mar bhi gaye toh kya hoga ?? Daro mat hum yamraj ke mobile se apko SMS kiya karenge ..
Son’s math problem
Son: Dad 5+5, how much? Dad: You fool, You don’t know this, go and get a calculator.
Main tere liye sab kuch chhod dungi
Girl: Main tere liye sab kuch chhod dungi. Boy:Maa baap Girl:Yes Boy:Bhai behan Girl:Yes Boy:Khana peena Girl:Yes Boy:Star plus Girl: Muh sambhal ke baat kar !!
Bhakt aur Bhagwan
Bhakt: Hey bagwan mujhe dard de, mere piche bhut laga de, tension de, mujhe barbaad kar de, dukh de. Bhagwan: Abey ek line mein bol tuhje BIWI chahiye.
Aapki girlfriend ke sahare ji lenge
Do pal ki bhi khushi na mili to kya hua, Umar bhar gam ke sahare ji lenge, Kya hua jo hamari girlfriend nahi, Hum aapki girlfriend ke sahare ji lenge.
Mein ne tumhe pyar kiya, tere baap ne mujhe peeta
Mein ne tumhe pyar kiya, tere baap ne mujhe peeta Mein ne tumhe pyar kiya, tere baap ne mujhe peeta, Sine theta by Cosine theta equal to Tan theta…
I do not sleep at night
In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, At noon I do not eat because I think of you, In the evening I do not eat because I think of you, At night I do not sleep because I am hungry.
Connecting pipal
Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye toh us rassi ko kya kahenge? A: Uss rassi ko bolengey NOKIA – Connecting pipal.
Vibration ka kamaal hai
Jab bhi tumhara msg aata hai Hamara room room machal jata hai Aang aang mein gudgudi hota hai Yeh tumhara sms ka kasoor nahi hai Yeh toh mobile ki vibration ka kamaal hai
Tere dil mein rahenge
Tere dil mein rahenge sms bankar, Dhadkano mein rahenge ringtone bankar, Kabhi apne dil se juda mut samajana, Hum tere saath chalenge network bankar!
If I post this letter tonight
Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time? Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will. Customer : I bet you, it won’t. Post Master : Why not? Customer : It’s addressed to Mumbai.
Prizes to win
Bumper offer: Sent me sms & win ,, 10 Lakh ki car ka photo, 29″ T.V ka sandar “Box” Dubai jane wale plane ko tata karne ka moaqa, Or mere sath dinner,woh bhi aap k ghar.
Choosing career is like chosing wife
Choosing career is like chosing wife from 10 girlfriends, Even if u pick most beautiful, most intelligent, kindest woman, There’s still pain of loosing 9
Kutte ka cake
Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kya chahiye tumhain Jo bhi kaho ge meri dukaan per wo paoge maine kahaa ke kutte ke khane ka cake hai bola yahin pe khaoge ya leke jaoge
Kunware hum bhi nahin
Haseen tum ho to bure hum bi nahi, mahalo mein tum ho to sadak par hum bhi nahi, pyar karke kehte ho shaadi shuda ho, kaan kholkar sunlo, kunware hum bhi nahi.
“PIYASA CROW”…..
“PIYASA CROW” Once din he was piyasa.He finding paani.But paani was kidro na labba. He guzra from jungle.He was vekhiya one gharra.Magar paani was thora. He sochya ek plane.He pick some wattey and sutey into the ghara. Pani was uper come.He drank ji bhar k. Moral:thori si mehnat se english…
Jab piyar kiya tu Darna kiya…
Usne mujhe rat ko Qabrastan me akela chor dya faraz . Ye keh kar k jab Pyar kia to darna kia ? (“.)/’ ‘\(“.) _/\_.. .._/\_
Bhaiya mere rakhi k bandhan ko nibhana
Sama Tah Suhana Suhag Raat Ka Tha Bahana Dulha Mood Me Tha K Dulhan Se Sune Koi Gana Dulhan Ne Shuru Kiya Gana ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? Bhaiya Mere Rakhi K Bandhan Ko Nibhana
sheikh ruipy se pehly pohnch gaya tha
Sheikh ka 1 rupiya chatt se gir gaya, sheikh neeche pohncha to rupiya nahe mila kion?? sheikh rupiay se pehley pohnch gaya tha!:-D
teri ulfat ko pane k lie
Teri Ulfat Ko Pane K Lie, Kia Kuch Nahi Kia, : Main Be-wafa Hi Sahi, Tu Apni Wafa To Sabit Kar.?
Thukra kar Mohabbar meri….
Thukra kar Mohabbar meri kahan jane ka irada hy? Mujhe Zindagi k kis Mor pe lane ka irada hy? Ye jo ab khafa khafa se rehne lage ho, Ye piyar ka arooj hy, ya chor jane ka irada hai? Jatey Jatey ye tu bata jao ay Dost, Mere piyar may…
Sisk sisk kr mrna acha he ya 1 dum…
*1 admi adhi rat ko apni moti biwi ko jaga k bola begum “sisk sisk kr mrna acha he ya 1 dum? begum “1 dum admi “to phir apni dosri taang b mere opr rakh do.
Yeh adda-e-bay niyazi…
Yeh adda-e-bay niyazi k woh mery dil ko ly kr….. Barri bay rukkhi sy boly, kisi kam ka nahi hy……
Mubark ho apko “RAMZAN”…
Pariyon ne paristan say “PYAR” bheja he Sitaron ne asman se “SALAM” bheja he Mubark ho apko “RAMZAN”ki kushian Ye pegham hum ne apko”ADVANCE” bheja hai.¤